Things that come with the pause.
By now, I am sure many of us are either fed up with the enforced pause, while some of us are just rearing to go! In the past few months, I have had many conversations and what has struck me is that because we are forced to slow down, we are confronted with certain truths about our lives. Truths that up till now we have managed to evade because of the perpetual busyness of our lives. However, as uncomfortable as it is, lockdown has offered us a gift of confronting ourselves.
The first thing that happens to us is that we lament the loss of our shield (the busyness) to our truths. Without the excuse of things to do, and places to be, we find ourselves a little at a loss. Some would say naked, as we no longer can hide behind the excuses we give ourselves for not doing certain things, or not showing up.
Secondly, there is the mirror. Having to face our truths about where we are at. Whether it be our lows, our highs, or how we really feel about ourselves.
Thirdly, there is the existential exploration. Inevitably, there’s the questioning of how we find ourselves where we are in our lives. In other words, our level of connection to inspiration, a purpose or even just the joys that make life worthwhile.
To be honest, there are days that I do wonder about this journey called life, and sometimes I even yearn for a do over. Days where I feel a little lost and where I struggle to find the excitement or the hope in what, at that moment, seems like this endless road called life. Nevertheless, I have learnt to just be in those moments and to not judge myself. I have learnt to bear with the lows that seems inevitable during these times of enforced isolation for some, and for others, time in a confined space with their family.
In many of my coaching conversations, what has struck me in particular has been the admissions that people are a little less than satisfied with where they find themselves at. So I woke up today with one thing on my mind, and that was to make someone’s day, to be an inspiration or to make someone realise that they too can make it in this world. On a day as grey as this one, people tend to lose hope and sometimes they never really find anything exciting. That is why I want to be that sunshine that will brighten up their day.
I want to be that happy pill that makes you wake up and say ‘yes I can’, I want to change how some people see and tackle life and its challenges. There is a life lesson in everything we do, as our choices determine where life takes us. It all depends on how you will choose to deal with it, whether it is good or bad. I joined a project called ‘Project Ignition’ last year and I started a journey of self-discovery.
This journey was and currently still is my journey, not our journey, as it allows a person to focus and scrutinise themselves for a change. Once we focus more on what other people think about us and what people expect from us we tend to blend in with the crowd and forget about ourselves because we are too busy trying to please others. There is nothing wrong with being selfish, with focusing on yourself and making sure that you are happy as your happiness should come first, that is why the spotlight is on me and only me on this journey.
I spotted a quote this morning that made me realize that not everyone understands the concept of the journey to discovery. Ralph wrote: ‘we are all innovators, each sailing on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities‘.
What this means to me is that we all should be in touch with our inner child, as that will help us realise that the world is our oyster and we can accomplish all that we have ever dreamt of. We have our own boats that we are sailing on, if we could focus more on ourselves than others, we could easily get where we want to get. The other thing that would make our journeys more pleasant is if we don’t have any expectations because once we have them and the people we expect things from don’t deliver – we may tend to start believing it’s the end of the world.
One thing we all should remember is that our journeys are different and unique because we have our different destinations.
P.S don’t be a follower in your journey, be your own leader – after all, you are your own mastermind.